The problem with stereotypes is that people keep fitting into them so nicely. Sure, most people don’t exhibit all characteristics of a stereotype but the traits they do show, usually override the ones they do not.
Tumblr, like any other place, now has a set of stereotypes.
The pigeon-holing continues now as we look at the next set of types that you might belong to.
Do any of them fit you?
Eternal Sad-sack (ES)
The eternal sad-sack is quite regularly mistaken for the LL by people recently acquainted with them. The reason for the mistaken identity is readily apparent; the ES will constantly be posting and talking about solemn, saddening topics and will do so with prolific regularity. But the ES differs from the LL in that an ES will not always be talking about lost loves, they will be talking about everything — and everything is sad.
The ES will never direct this sadness — in the form of bitterness — toward anybody and generally lays pretty low in terms of dashboard back-and-forths. It’s very hard to dislike an ES because it seems that no hatred cast at them could be worse than what has either been done to them or — if the person is fictional, suicidal, unstable, self-sabotaging — they are doing to themselves already. They will reblog happy things and immediately make them heart-wrenching with a few defeatist words, they will post short statements about how another seemingly-unruinable situation was ruined, and they generally give their readers a benchmark for comparing troubles.
The plight of an ES can sometimes make other readers ESs for a short time but an ES will form strong bonds with loyal readers and generally be considered a close friend by one or more people.
Eternal Sad-sack pros:
Clique Leader (CL)
Where the VEs — and occasionally the TLs — divide communities down the middle, the clique leaders are all about cordoning off a small section and setting up a fortress with oiled walls and arrow-slits every few metres. The size of each clique and the number of CLs each clique forms around varies but a CL and the entire group is easily recognised by many public references to in-jokes.
One does not simply walk into Tumblr and become a CL. No. In order to become a CL, someone must gain a degree of popularity and gradually begin to interact with only a select few people. The chosen participants become the clique and the CL gains control of a small strike force to battle any opposition, whether it be other CLs and their cliques, or just individual people they take issue with.
To the members of the clique, the CL is comparable to god — or Johnny Depp — and can do nothing wrong, to people on the outside, the CLs are often touted as pretentious or arrogant. CLs have been know to disband their entire clique for no apparent reason and start a new one; this often leads to new CLs being created from the old, bitter members.
Clique Leader pros:
Always Poetic (AP)
It can sometimes be hard to spot an always poetic, as one in the Tumblr Writing Community would expect there to be poetry, and lots of it. Some people may claim to always write poetry — as opposed to always writing prose, for example — but the AP is always poetic, about everything.
Every thought, every action, every bowel movement in the most extreme cases, is captured in a piece of poetry. Works range from epics right down to six word sentences broken into a six word poems. An AP will have a post count that beggars belief and observers will often question the passage of time when a poem celebrating the 5000th post comes only a few days after a poem celebrating the 4000th.
APs will gain quite an avid following who cling to every word and phrase while the AP lives by the old adage, “Throw enough shit at a wall and some of it will stick.” Through the subjective nature of poetry, an AP will have a diverse following of people who enjoy at least a facet of the AP’s output, if not all of it.
Always Poetic pros:
Conversationalist (CS)
Quite nice weather we’ve been having lately, isn’t it? And how are you, are you well? How’s the bunion coming along? A conversationalist loves them some conversation and will take it in any way shape or form they can get it. The CS is quite easy to recognise and there is every chance you are delaying a conversation with a CS by reading this post.
CSs are up with the gossip, down with the word on the street, over the latest news, and all around you. A CS will appear on your latest post complimenting your work and asking you how you are doing — if they’re not just asking you how you are doing; they will appear in your inbox conveying the latest forecast on Tumblr’s political movements; they will be on your dash replying to to your reply for no other reason than you left a possible hint of a ghost of an impression of a question mark in your comment; and they will be on your dash in a fresh post throwing out a conversational fishing line and waiting for a bite to sate their infinitesimal desire for conversational interaction.
Nobody hates a CS, it’s almost an impossibility. They provide ask messages when you thought the red numbers would never appear again, they provide replies to posts when you thought your piece would be doomed to “likes” only, and they give ample opportunity for distraction when you’re bored and scrolling the dash. The problem comes when people offer a CS a communication snack when the CS is always looking for a meal — a CS counteracts this possible lack of reply by answering all messages publicly thereby inviting new conversations to be started.
Conversationalist pros:
Facebook Emulator (FE)
Sometimes known as the “Twitter Emulator (TE)”, the Facebook emulator tries to create the instant-on, the-world-must-know environment found in more character-restricting, tightly tied social networks. Among the more verbose and relevant posts, the FE will spend quite a lot of time on more frivolous posts that, if anyone was counting, would probably be 140 characters or less.
It is true that many have eschewed social networks like Facebook and Twitter for the more accepting, more eloquent world of Tumblr, but the FE forgot to leave those mindsets behind when setting up their blog. The FE will post hourly reports on breakfast choices and social altercations right alongside random pictures of food choices and pet foibles. The FE’s post topics can be similar to an AP but the FE will not disguise anything under the veil of poetry.
The FE is usually easy to approach and converse with as many of the walls restricting such interactions have been torn down by having a lot of personal information to study before making contact. The FE will also see a lot of personal replies to artistic, non-status-update pieces, as context for mood and inspiration is easily found in the preceding post about the rude bus driver or incontinent toddler.
Facebook Emulator pros:
Reblog Specialist (RS)
Most people reblog — themselves and other people — and some people reblog quite freqently, but a reblog specialist has honed reblogging down to something of a fine art — maybe even a reason for existence. An RS is enthusiastic, an avid reader and in the majority of cases, a quite accomplished writer when held up alone.
An RS usually acquires the tag immediately after entering Tumblr and, suddenly surrounded by writers they enjoy and/or admire, feel the need to let people know what works have been speaking directly to them or touching them in ways that their significant other does not. One of the few Tumblr archetypes that actually strives to read everything that crosses the dash, the RS is always reading and looking for something beautiful to decorate their blog with.
The RS is quite well respected in the community and in some cases will find that their ability to share wonderful pieces with others is more of a reason to continue blogging than creating original works. The RS is also a favourite of new Tumblr users as, for the new blogger, reblogs are gold dust.
Reblog Specialist pros:
Reblog Specialist cons:
Participation Enthusiast (PE)
TAs absolutely rely on participation enthusiasts when they start up a project, and many other users bank on them to get something viral off the ground. The PE is the smiling youngster sitting at the front of the classroom whose hand is raised before the teacher even asks a question. The PE is the student who is on the debating team, organising the school year book, playing first chair in the school band, running for student council, and is first to arrive at working bees to beautify the school gardens.
The PE participates in everything. The most obvious example is the reblogged post that asks for a number to be placed in the ask box corresponding to an arbitrary question. The PE is the first to spot the emerging trends and will jump onto the bandwagon with reckless abandon. Any new tag-based challenge, anonymous competition, collaboration request or prompt solicitation will be answered quickly and with alacrity by the PE. Some PEs are successful and the causes they spot and tag along with work well, making them the front runner. Some PEs fail and choose the wrong things repeatedly, making them the pioneer of many lost causes. Win or lose though, the PE will stay optimistic and jump straight on the next train to come along.
Participation Enthusiast pros:
Participation Enthusiast cons:
…. TO BE CONTINUED
The problem with stereotypes is that people keep fitting into them so nicely. Sure, most people don’t exhibit all characteristics of a stereotype but the traits they do show, usually override the ones they do not.
Tumblr, like any other place, now has a set of stereotypes.
Do any of them fit you?
Anonymous Enabler (AE)
You know immediately when you’ve followed an anonymous enabler as they show you just how horrible people can be when shrouded behind a grey mask. It could be days, weeks, months or even years after you signed up for Tumblr before you find one, but you’ll know an AE immediately.
Most people get anonymous hate-mail — in fact, many people consider it a rite of passage on the hazardous path to Tumblr Fame — but the AE seems to attract rancid messages like something big or bright that attracts lots of small or dull things. Turn away from your dashboard for a moment and when you return, it will be full of resigned, aggressive, panicked responses to brutally vicious words from brutally cowardly anonymous persons. Interspersed within the onslaught will be the occasional message of support or sympathy from equally cowardly anonymous sympathisers.
When faced with such a situation, many would disable the anonymous function of their inbox or simply cease responding to messages when they arrive. Not the AE. The AE will post every last message that comes through, or, in the rare circumstance where they run out of time or patience, will post a message directed at the anons advising them that they will no longer be responding because they have to sleep, attend school, write something, play tiddly winks with a younger sibling, or any other reason that takes them away from the fray.
After a time the AE will begin receiving suggestions that anonymous functions be switched off or anonymous messages be ignored outright, but if these suggestions are ever heeded, it is only for a very short time and the cycle begins again.
Anonymous Enabler pros:
Anonymous Enabler cons:
Vigilante (VE)
There are two types of people according to the vigilante: people behind them, and people in their way. There is every chance that for every VE you are behind, you’re in another VE’s way. VEs take it upon themselves to pick a problem that is almost impossible to fix and throw their anger at it like an archer throwing arrows because his bowstring broke.
The VE’s target is usually something massive and needs to be pointed out so that others can see the problem too. The attacks can go completely unnoticed and roll off the target like a moth over a windshield, or are completely outnumbered like facing the US army with a BB gun. When not launching directly at the opposition, the VE will alternate between passive-aggressive posts belittling those in the way and making sure everyone knows they’re a vigilante and not fighting to be liked.
Vigilante pros:
Vigilante cons:
Proudly Promiscuous (PP)
Aspects of the proudly promiscuous appear in many people, but the true PPs take it to another level entirely. You never mentioned it and you never saw mention of it, but the PP will regularly be posting at you defending their right to be a PP.
The assumption is that a PP gets a hard time either privately through their ask box or — gasp — in the real world, so, without any visible provocation, a defensive barrage is unleashed upon readers advocating that what to that point hadn’t been anybody’s business, is not anybody’s business. As a result of these posts, a PP can sometimes show traits of an AE.
Proudly Promiscuous pros:
Cool Casanova (CC)
Simply put: the cool casanova is cool. Every message response, every post, every fibre of a CC’s being makes panties wet and raises tents. Pictures posted ooze charm, anonymous messages are always solicitations for sex or marriage, and posts are crafted in a such a way that every reader believes it is probably about them.
A CC will never post “Ask Me Anything”. No, a CC will request correspondence in a method that hints at sated desires and unbridled passion — and the correspondence comes, and comes, and comes all over the dashboard like a poetic bukkake.
Most observed CCs are male but female CCs exist and are very good at their craft.
Cool Casanova pros:
Cool Casanova cons:
Troll (TL)
Encountering a troll usually happens within minutes of joining Tumblr, if not beforehand. Depending on the sense of humour of a TL’s readers, TLs range from hilarious to offensive to pitiful or everything at once depending on how prolific they are.
A TL’s trademark is usually correcting grammar or highlighting logical impossibilities in posts. This is done via replies, reblogs and, for the more experienced TLs, ask messages and outright posts. The best TLs quickly gather a following and once followed, appear on the dash regularly as part of an argument, a long-running joke, or a new user’s outburst at their antics. The worst TLs usually end up alone, with no followers, making “Forever Alone” memes to submit to compilation blogs.
A TL can be your best friend or your worst and sometimes both at the same time. The old internet adage “Don’t feed the trolls” is the safest bet to avoid having a TL as an enemy, as the lack of action will see them move off to tastier targets.
Troll pros:
Troll cons:
Love Lost (LL)
Love lost can be hard to spot at first and the trait may not show itself for quite some time. But when it does, it is unmistakable. LL outbursts can be triggered by — obviously — a lost love, remembering a lost love, thinking about how current love may be lost, thinking about how future love could subsequently be lost.
When a triggering event occurs, an LL will unleash a maelstrom upon the dashboard. The currents will include single sentence posts about lost love or how love lost will never be found, longer posts of resignation about lost love, responses to anonymous and named messages that either agree with hateful points raised or reject supportive points raised, and odd-angle picture posts with lost-love-related captions.
There is no stopping an LL’s tirade, it has to fizzle out of its own volition. The LLs lay dormant for many months at a time so when the turn comes, support is always available by surprised followers. As an LL begins to leave the LL onslaught, they have been observed to show traits of a CC during recovery.
Lost Love pros:
Lost Love cons:
The Activist (TA)
According to The Activist, absolutely everything can — nay, must! — be fixed with a little bit of group participation. A TA will start compilation blogs every other week, create prompt blogs daily, host challenges, start trends, and generally grab your attention like a charming Irish guy working the streets for Greenpeace.
The community is failing if everybody’s not meeting at the town hall on the second Tuesday of every month. For a TA, the community is falling to pieces if they’re not working on something to tie it closer together.
A TA is always charismatic and always has a great following of willing supporters for each new cause brought to the table. The causes rarely succeed past a few iterations but the TA is lauded for having tried.
The Activist pros:
The Activist cons:
Abstract Answerer (AA)
Most people exhibit a little bit of the abstract answerer but the traits are usually rampant in new writers hitting Tumblr. A veteran AA will continue to be an AA even after being called out for it several times. An AA is identified by the ask messages and quotes they post. Nobody — sometimes not even the AA — can make head nor tails from the answers given or the meaning of the snippets.
A question like: “How old are you?”
May be answered with: “As old as the wind over a leprechaun’s sock.”
AAs can often be mistaken for CCs because solicitations for messages are worded in uncommon ways and the calls are answered with gusto by the AA’s following. It usually takes only a few messages to distinguish between an AA and a CC though, because rarely is the same word used twice and seldom can an answer be read aloud without stumbling over its text.
Abstract Answerer pros:
Abstract Answerer cons:
…. TO BE CONTINUED
Are you humble?
Are you modest?
Are you confident in your ability?
Are you able to handle criticism?
Are you able to sleep?
Are you sober?
Are you productive?
Are you happy with the amount of attention you’re receiving?
Of course you’re bloody not, otherwise you wouldn’t have seen this post! And if you do possess the above traits, what the hell are you doing inside the Tumblr Writing Community? Your kind isn’t much liked around here so take your angelic, wholesome self elsewhere. Somewhere you can do good — No, I don’t know where; maybe become a copy editor for the bible or start proof-reading DNA blueprints or something.
Hell! Maybe you want to actually fit in here and that’s why you’ve ignored my advice and continued reading? Or maybe you want to dull your benevolence and social skills down far enough to become a leader at the bottom of the Tumblr Writing Community pack? How would I know? God, you people expect a lot from me! Just shut up and keep reading to find out how to survive this place — it’s pretty simple.
I have decided to host an anonymous challenge and in order to make this the most anonymous anonymous challenge yet, I will be altering the rules that most people use for their anonymous challenges.
The theme is: Whatever you think nobody else will write about
The Rules
