How are you doing buddy? You alright? You’re certainly looking well. I see that you’re taking your lunch break at work after working diligently with your head down all morning — you are a trooper aren’t you?
Look at those stunning features! Those eyes, perfect cheek-bone structure and a jaw-line that looks like it could bite through a bus. Those shoulders, strong and manly; those biceps, you could use them to chock up a 747; and those abdominal muscles, I bet they’re tuned to a perfect C Major scale … Oh! Sorry, Luke. I got distracted for a moment looking at a picture of Hugh Jackman; I don’t know why I described him to you, you know what he looks like. You look okay too I suppose, like a synthetic dandelion next to a rose when compared to Mr Jackman, but you do okay — I’d do you; hell, we’ve been there before huh? It’s just such a shame that you were so late when they were handing out asses, it would have been great for you to get one with more definition than a doormat.
It’s not all about aesthetics though, is it? The mind is a huge part of who you are. Eloquence, dignity, humour, intelligence, wisdom and charisma. These are all traits I think of when I think of Stephen Fry — he’s really something else isn’t he? — and I always think of Stephen Fry when I think of the beauty of the mind. Oh, wait, I realise you may have thought I was talking about you! Goodness, no! Luke, you don’t fare too badly — you could think your way out of a cardboard box given enough time — but putting you next to Mr Fry would be like asking an amoeba to battle wits with Einstein. It’s a shame rhyming isn’t the sole indicator of mental capability, if it was, you might pop up above average.
Luckily for you Luke, not everyone in the world has Hugh Jackman’s body or Stephen Fry’s mind, so you might find someone out there who will settle for what you can offer. You have got some good friends and an amazing family that loves you. You’re also pretty generous I guess, I mean, maybe that’s a fault because I could really have used that $50 you loaned out the other day knowing you would never see it again.
I can’t remember exactly what I was writing to you for now, just to say hello I guess — we don’t speak so often lately.
So … “Hello!”
Love you (someone has to right? Right?!), take care,
PS. Groceries, it was bloody groceries I was writing about. Do some shopping, the cupboards are bare!